Dining
...but I have learned a few rules of the road.
Driving, rather than flying or taking a train, has several advantages. For one thing, there's no baggage limit. You can take whatever you can cram into, or tie on top of, your vehicle. Think about the Okies, who took all they owned and headed to California during the Dust Bowl days of the '30s. (Some of us Sooners like to say they raised the IQ of both states.)
You don't have to go through security screening. Some states even allow you to travel with a loaded gun and an open bottle.
And it's more economical, in spite of high gasoline prices. That is, if you don't spend several nights on the road in expensive hotels. My rule of thumb is, don't pay somebody more for one night's sleep on their mattress than you paid for the bed you own.
Over the years and thousands of miles of interstates and back roads, certain eternal truths have emerged, which I am glad to share:
- Maps never fold back up the way they were originally folded.
- Well-worn maps always have holes at critical points along your route, so you have to guess which exit to take to avoid going right through the middle of a big city.
- Official state highway maps are a necessity. On those sponsored by hotel chains, the print is too small to read and the hotel location symbols are as annoying as dandelions on a spring lawn.
(The above rules are women only. Men don't need to use maps.)
- If you share the driving duties with your mate or another fellow traveler, your shift will occur during rush hour or a blinding rainstorm - or both.
- Just when you give up looking for the lowest price on gasoline, and stop for a fill-up, a mile down the road gas will be a nickel a gallon cheaper.
- If you're driving 5 to 10 miles over the speed limit, cars and trucks will be passing you right and left.
- On a two-lane road, with the sun about to set and kids screaming in the back seat, you'll inevitably find yourself behind the slowest driver in the county.
- When two lanes go to one and you dutifuly ease over into a line that's not moving, somebody "important" (in his mind) will come racing by to crowd in toward the front of the line.
- Radio stations that give you weather and traffic conditions never tell you what city - or state - they're broadcasting from.
- The rest area you've been anxiously seeking for the past 75 miles will have a big sign reading "Welcome. No facilities."
- If you end up using a rest room in a fast-food place, don't feel that you have to buy a cup of coffee (although my wife's Southern upbringing says it's the mannerly thing to do).
The above is from "Now, I'm No Expert on Cats and Other Mysteries of Life" by Robert L. Haught. The book is available from www.iuniverse.com, www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com and other online book sites. If you would like an autographed copy, please write haughtline@gmail.com.
All contents copyrighted by Robert L. Haught all rights reserved